Sunday morning and it's very quiet here. Ken just left for church. I can't remember the last time I went to church yet I believe that the God I know is also present here in this quiet room. I haven't even been out of the house for anything other than a medical appointment since Ken, Kelli, Brett and I went to a movie the day before my first chemo treatment. Seems like I am always feeling sick the first week and then not allowed out because my counts drop the 2nd week. Tomorrow I have the biopsy appointment first thing...not looking forward to more needles...and then to the Cancer Center for labs and a consultation.
Funny thing...a week ago I was beside myself with dread of the day when I would start losing my hair. Now, with most of it gone, all I want is for the last hair on my head to disappear so that I won't have to see it on my shoulder or feel it in my face, eyes and mouth as it drops out. I want it gone so that the next "hair" milestone I cross is seeing it begin to grow back.
I'm glad Ken is at church for awhile where he can focus on something other than my illness. This has been life changing for him as well and I feel badly about that. Just when he was beginning a new chapter in his life as a semi-retired college professor and enjoying life to its fullest. He'll be back to teaching labs this week so that's good. He needs that contact with normalcy. It's so odd...I can barely remember what normal was like. I can barely remember life before breast cancer and it has only been a couple of months. It seems like such a long time ago that I used to get up early and head to the office before 7 am. I liked to get that early start. Now I can't even manage to drag myself out of bed by 7.
I do work though. Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I am able to log into my computer from home and work remotely. That is good. I need that. My contact with people is now pretty much all via email but at least it is contact. And, speaking of work, I do have some things to get caught up on so guess I'll do that now. Hope you all have a great Sunday.
Later.
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Hi Best of luck tomorrow. Think positive and it will all turn out the best. It's beautiful today after the week we have just had. On to open houses. Barb
ReplyDeleteIt was great to see Ken today but you were very missed. I'm glad you know though that the God you know ... and I know ... is holding you in his hand not only in a sanctuary but wherever you are. He will be with you tomorrow, bringing with him all our prayers for a beautiful day and the peace you need to accept and find calm in this "new normal." - Jean & Rick
ReplyDeleteAnd, speaking of technology, I'm really glad you're maintaining this blog. You don't know how hard it is to be 750+ miles away and helpless. Stay strong, stay positive, and we'll see you soon.
ReplyDeleteLove,
matt & sara