Sorry to be so slow in updating this. The surgery really took alot out of me. Went well, though and I got home late morning today. I'm very tired and the incision in my neck is uncomfortable but I am very happy to be home. The staff at Mercy was just great. There are some really special people there. No word yet on the pathology report. I'm getting started on the meds that I will now have to take for the rest of my life. Quite an adjustment for me.
Just to add that litle touch of drama,I will mention that I ended up with an infiltrated IV which resulted in an extremely swollen left arm from my fingertips to my elbow. They were running around pulling my IV at 4 am Wednesday and getting another one going. Not pleasant. It is still painfully swollen and it will stay that way until all of the fluids that were mistakenly injected into the tissue dissipate. Hopefully that will be soon.
Other than that, all is good. Kelli flew home this morning. Sure hated to see her go but was nice she was able to be here.
We will now resume life in our new "normal". To the best of my knowledge, I will resume chemo in two weeks and will be able to start where I left off. Three cheers for not having to start over.
Later.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
I'm Ready
It's kind of mind boggling how, in the blink of an eye, a person can go from one who hasn't been inside of a doctor's office in 5 years or more to one who spends half their waking moments there.
Last Friday I spent the entire morning at Mercy undergoing pre-op testing. Everything from blood work to EKG and chest x-ray. Then had an appointment with my primary care physician after that. This morning I was at the Cancer Center for several hours and this afternoon had to check in with my surgeon to get confirmation of surgery. It is now officially scheduled for tomorrow at 12:30. I'm nervous but ready to move forward and get it over with.
I had a bit of a disappointment today at the Cancer Center. My oncologist had talked to me about participating in a clinical trial for breast cancer which could potentially greatly increase my chances of the cancer not recurring. I had read all the information on it and was to sign the consent forms today. However, this morning I was turned down because of the new development of thyroid cancer. This would have been a great opportunity not only for my own situation but I felt really good about participating in something that could benefit others down the road, in particular my daughters and grandaughter. Another bummer.
On a lighter note, does anyone know if they will let you wear a hat in surgery...a hat other than that surgical gauzy thing, that is. I sure hope so. :)
Well, that's about it, I guess. Talk to you all on the other side of this madness.
Later.
Last Friday I spent the entire morning at Mercy undergoing pre-op testing. Everything from blood work to EKG and chest x-ray. Then had an appointment with my primary care physician after that. This morning I was at the Cancer Center for several hours and this afternoon had to check in with my surgeon to get confirmation of surgery. It is now officially scheduled for tomorrow at 12:30. I'm nervous but ready to move forward and get it over with.
I had a bit of a disappointment today at the Cancer Center. My oncologist had talked to me about participating in a clinical trial for breast cancer which could potentially greatly increase my chances of the cancer not recurring. I had read all the information on it and was to sign the consent forms today. However, this morning I was turned down because of the new development of thyroid cancer. This would have been a great opportunity not only for my own situation but I felt really good about participating in something that could benefit others down the road, in particular my daughters and grandaughter. Another bummer.
On a lighter note, does anyone know if they will let you wear a hat in surgery...a hat other than that surgical gauzy thing, that is. I sure hope so. :)
Well, that's about it, I guess. Talk to you all on the other side of this madness.
Later.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Stay On The Line
Think about this. I'm sure you've seen the tv commercial with the green line that stretches out in front of someone and takes various twists and turns while someone reminds them to "stay on the line." The concept is that their life will turn out just fine if they just remember to stay on that line. It occurs to me that this concept applies to my life right now. A group of doctors prompted by a series of medical events are creating a green line for me to follow. This line has in the past, and continues to take some directions that I would prefer not to follow, but if I trust these doctors and believe in their abilities to determine the proper course of treatment for me as we move through this, then I should be able to just close my eyes and hear the voice of God reminding me to "stay on the line." That line, no matter which direction it takes is what will lead me to the light at the end of the tunnel.
So, right now, the line has taken a bend and is once again leading me to surgery. I am scheduled to check into Mercy Medical Center on Tuesday morning, 1/26, for a total thyroidectomy. I will be there for one, maybe two nights. According to the surgeon, I should be ready to resume my previously scheduled course of treatment within two weeks after surgery. I won't know what, if any, additional treatment will be required for the thyroid until after surgery. And now that I know what is happening and when, I am at peace with that.
Later.
So, right now, the line has taken a bend and is once again leading me to surgery. I am scheduled to check into Mercy Medical Center on Tuesday morning, 1/26, for a total thyroidectomy. I will be there for one, maybe two nights. According to the surgeon, I should be ready to resume my previously scheduled course of treatment within two weeks after surgery. I won't know what, if any, additional treatment will be required for the thyroid until after surgery. And now that I know what is happening and when, I am at peace with that.
Later.
Friday, January 15, 2010
What Am I Doing?
OK...all that talk about how well I am handling this and how strong I am, etc, etc, etc, is out the window. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING ANYMORE.
I just got a call from my oncologist telling me they are cancelling my chemo for Monday and until further notice. I have thyroid cancer and that has now taken priority over treating the breast cancer. He said it is imperative that we move forward and remove this tumor before it spreads and we can't do that if I continue chemo.
I am dumbfounded. Does that mean the last month was a waste? I don't know. I just have to wait until I meet with the surgeon on Wednesday to see what he has planned for my life and then go from there.
Later.
I just got a call from my oncologist telling me they are cancelling my chemo for Monday and until further notice. I have thyroid cancer and that has now taken priority over treating the breast cancer. He said it is imperative that we move forward and remove this tumor before it spreads and we can't do that if I continue chemo.
I am dumbfounded. Does that mean the last month was a waste? I don't know. I just have to wait until I meet with the surgeon on Wednesday to see what he has planned for my life and then go from there.
Later.
Feelin' Good
When you're healthy and you basically feel good every day, you don't even appreciate the fact that you feel good. Anyway, I never did. But when you only are blessed with a few "feel good" days out of every two week period, you quickly learn to appreciate them.
I stole a few hours to go into my office today in spite of the fact that I was on "Precautions." Sue and Sandy went in before I got there and completely disinfected every surface. Thanks so much!! And people were very good about standing well outside the door to say hi if they had any signs of a cold, etc. It was funny how many people were amazed by how good I look (in their words) and I believe that is due to what I was referring to above. I am so appreciating feeling good today that it shows. I have two more days to feel this way now before I have chemo again on Monday.
Also, it felt so good just to be back in my element...my office. I work with so many good people and I didn't get to see anywhere near all of them but those I did get to visit with just made my day. You guys are great.
This was the first time I drove a car in a month. Negotiating intersections with gigantic snow banks which block your vision is certainly no picnic and I quickly saw that I hadn't missed anything in that regard.
No big news, today. Just getting ready to enjoy my week-end. Monday is chemo, Tuesday, the shot after chemo and Wednesday the visit with the surgeon so lots of medical stuff next week.
Later.
I stole a few hours to go into my office today in spite of the fact that I was on "Precautions." Sue and Sandy went in before I got there and completely disinfected every surface. Thanks so much!! And people were very good about standing well outside the door to say hi if they had any signs of a cold, etc. It was funny how many people were amazed by how good I look (in their words) and I believe that is due to what I was referring to above. I am so appreciating feeling good today that it shows. I have two more days to feel this way now before I have chemo again on Monday.
Also, it felt so good just to be back in my element...my office. I work with so many good people and I didn't get to see anywhere near all of them but those I did get to visit with just made my day. You guys are great.
This was the first time I drove a car in a month. Negotiating intersections with gigantic snow banks which block your vision is certainly no picnic and I quickly saw that I hadn't missed anything in that regard.
No big news, today. Just getting ready to enjoy my week-end. Monday is chemo, Tuesday, the shot after chemo and Wednesday the visit with the surgeon so lots of medical stuff next week.
Later.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
How 'Bout Those Odds...
So, prior to my biopsy I was told by several doctors that it was highly unlikely this would turn out to be cancer. In fact, there was a 90+% chance that it would be benign. So, why was I not surprised this morning when the Endocrynologist called and said there were problems with my pathology report?
Here's the deal as I understand it. The biopsy showed follicular cells in the tumor. Follicular cells apparently are almost impossible to get a good read on whether they are benign or malignant but the fact that they exist greatly increases the odds of the tumor being cancerous. Therefore, they will have to remove my thyroid because the risks of not doing so are too great. There is apparently a slight chance that it could be some rarer form of cancer, so I will have a blood test on Monday when I go in for chemo to determine whether or not that is the case.
I meet with a surgeon next Wednesday and I assume will find out then when I will be having surgery.
So, one more bend in that tunnel. I am really looking forward to the day when I can hit a straightaway. Then at least, even though it is long there will be a chance to see a pinpoint of light at the end. For now, I'll hold fast to the song that started this blog...
"There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
So keep holding on."
Pray for the people of Haiti.
Later.
Here's the deal as I understand it. The biopsy showed follicular cells in the tumor. Follicular cells apparently are almost impossible to get a good read on whether they are benign or malignant but the fact that they exist greatly increases the odds of the tumor being cancerous. Therefore, they will have to remove my thyroid because the risks of not doing so are too great. There is apparently a slight chance that it could be some rarer form of cancer, so I will have a blood test on Monday when I go in for chemo to determine whether or not that is the case.
I meet with a surgeon next Wednesday and I assume will find out then when I will be having surgery.
So, one more bend in that tunnel. I am really looking forward to the day when I can hit a straightaway. Then at least, even though it is long there will be a chance to see a pinpoint of light at the end. For now, I'll hold fast to the song that started this blog...
"There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
So keep holding on."
Pray for the people of Haiti.
Later.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Long Day
Hi, all
Long day. Not alot to report but I knew some would be checking so wanted to give you the basics. My biopsy was scheduled for 8am and I was awake between 2 and 2:30 going over it in my head. It was actually less scary than I had imagined. They gave me a shot of Lidocaine to numb the area and that was probably the worst part, Well, no, actually all the alcohol they rubbed on may have been worse because all strange smells like that immediately make me nauseous. But, fortunately I didn't get sick and once I was numb he started the procedure. He had to take 5 samples of cells from the tumor to hopefully ensure they got what they needed, so that meant 5 needle aspirations. I was aware of each one but wouldn't say it was painful. And, that's it. Now we just wait until mid to latter part of the week when they will call and give us the news.
This afternoon I had my consultation and labs at the Cancer Center. Counts were even lower than last time. I virtually have no white blood cells right now. So they put me back on "Precautions" and prescribed more antiobotics just to be on the safe side. Was nice to be able to get outside on a day that was actually somewhat nice. :)
Later.
Long day. Not alot to report but I knew some would be checking so wanted to give you the basics. My biopsy was scheduled for 8am and I was awake between 2 and 2:30 going over it in my head. It was actually less scary than I had imagined. They gave me a shot of Lidocaine to numb the area and that was probably the worst part, Well, no, actually all the alcohol they rubbed on may have been worse because all strange smells like that immediately make me nauseous. But, fortunately I didn't get sick and once I was numb he started the procedure. He had to take 5 samples of cells from the tumor to hopefully ensure they got what they needed, so that meant 5 needle aspirations. I was aware of each one but wouldn't say it was painful. And, that's it. Now we just wait until mid to latter part of the week when they will call and give us the news.
This afternoon I had my consultation and labs at the Cancer Center. Counts were even lower than last time. I virtually have no white blood cells right now. So they put me back on "Precautions" and prescribed more antiobotics just to be on the safe side. Was nice to be able to get outside on a day that was actually somewhat nice. :)
Later.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Sunday
Sunday morning and it's very quiet here. Ken just left for church. I can't remember the last time I went to church yet I believe that the God I know is also present here in this quiet room. I haven't even been out of the house for anything other than a medical appointment since Ken, Kelli, Brett and I went to a movie the day before my first chemo treatment. Seems like I am always feeling sick the first week and then not allowed out because my counts drop the 2nd week. Tomorrow I have the biopsy appointment first thing...not looking forward to more needles...and then to the Cancer Center for labs and a consultation.
Funny thing...a week ago I was beside myself with dread of the day when I would start losing my hair. Now, with most of it gone, all I want is for the last hair on my head to disappear so that I won't have to see it on my shoulder or feel it in my face, eyes and mouth as it drops out. I want it gone so that the next "hair" milestone I cross is seeing it begin to grow back.
I'm glad Ken is at church for awhile where he can focus on something other than my illness. This has been life changing for him as well and I feel badly about that. Just when he was beginning a new chapter in his life as a semi-retired college professor and enjoying life to its fullest. He'll be back to teaching labs this week so that's good. He needs that contact with normalcy. It's so odd...I can barely remember what normal was like. I can barely remember life before breast cancer and it has only been a couple of months. It seems like such a long time ago that I used to get up early and head to the office before 7 am. I liked to get that early start. Now I can't even manage to drag myself out of bed by 7.
I do work though. Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I am able to log into my computer from home and work remotely. That is good. I need that. My contact with people is now pretty much all via email but at least it is contact. And, speaking of work, I do have some things to get caught up on so guess I'll do that now. Hope you all have a great Sunday.
Later.
Funny thing...a week ago I was beside myself with dread of the day when I would start losing my hair. Now, with most of it gone, all I want is for the last hair on my head to disappear so that I won't have to see it on my shoulder or feel it in my face, eyes and mouth as it drops out. I want it gone so that the next "hair" milestone I cross is seeing it begin to grow back.
I'm glad Ken is at church for awhile where he can focus on something other than my illness. This has been life changing for him as well and I feel badly about that. Just when he was beginning a new chapter in his life as a semi-retired college professor and enjoying life to its fullest. He'll be back to teaching labs this week so that's good. He needs that contact with normalcy. It's so odd...I can barely remember what normal was like. I can barely remember life before breast cancer and it has only been a couple of months. It seems like such a long time ago that I used to get up early and head to the office before 7 am. I liked to get that early start. Now I can't even manage to drag myself out of bed by 7.
I do work though. Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I am able to log into my computer from home and work remotely. That is good. I need that. My contact with people is now pretty much all via email but at least it is contact. And, speaking of work, I do have some things to get caught up on so guess I'll do that now. Hope you all have a great Sunday.
Later.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Thyroid
This will be short. Chemo really took it out of me this time but I wanted to update you on this morning. They did an ultrasound because it is less invasive and could rule out the need for a needle biopsy. They did find several small lumps in the left thyroid which are not a problem but found a larger one in the right. He still feels that there is a 90% chance that it is not cancerous, but given the size, my current situation and the fact that it lit up the PET scan he believes it is imperative that he take a closer look. So, Monday morning I will have a needle biopsy to determine if, in fact, it is malignamt. More waiting, but think positive.
Later.
Later.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Chemo Round 2
I went in for chemo yesterday morning but first had to go through labs to make sure that my counts were back up to a point where I could tolerate chemo. So, I had the blood draw and then went out to wait to get called back for my exam. Turned out that all my counts were good so all aboard the chemo train.
They have a big circle of chairs in the chemo room with a group of nurses who tend to everyone"s needs. Turns out I was first in line but soon there were 6 of us, all being infused with various forms of chemicals that would do their job of killing off the bad cells while hopefully sparing as many of the goood cells as possible.
One more lady joined the group, not to have chemo, but to receive massive dosages of anti-nausea medicine to hopefully stop the intense nausea that had plagued her all week-end. She also needed fluids to reverse her dehydration. I felt so sorry for her. This stuff can and will hopefully be lifesaving but the process can bring you to your knees. It is life-changing.
But, once again, I seem to be tolerating it well 24 hours later I have some minor nausea and a few other symptoms but nothing I can't handle. Went back to the Cancer Center this morning for my "day after chemo" shot...this time as one of the veterans who walk in sporting a hat. Got that "first" behind me.
Tomorrow morning I have an appointment at Midlands Clinic for my thyroid biopsy. No idea what to expect there. Just hoping for the best.
Then am reallly hoping to round out the week by going into the office for a couple of hours on Thursday or Friday before my counts bottom out again next weekend.
Was really excited to see a new crop of followers on here this morning. I truly appreciate all the support.
Later.
They have a big circle of chairs in the chemo room with a group of nurses who tend to everyone"s needs. Turns out I was first in line but soon there were 6 of us, all being infused with various forms of chemicals that would do their job of killing off the bad cells while hopefully sparing as many of the goood cells as possible.
One more lady joined the group, not to have chemo, but to receive massive dosages of anti-nausea medicine to hopefully stop the intense nausea that had plagued her all week-end. She also needed fluids to reverse her dehydration. I felt so sorry for her. This stuff can and will hopefully be lifesaving but the process can bring you to your knees. It is life-changing.
But, once again, I seem to be tolerating it well 24 hours later I have some minor nausea and a few other symptoms but nothing I can't handle. Went back to the Cancer Center this morning for my "day after chemo" shot...this time as one of the veterans who walk in sporting a hat. Got that "first" behind me.
Tomorrow morning I have an appointment at Midlands Clinic for my thyroid biopsy. No idea what to expect there. Just hoping for the best.
Then am reallly hoping to round out the week by going into the office for a couple of hours on Thursday or Friday before my counts bottom out again next weekend.
Was really excited to see a new crop of followers on here this morning. I truly appreciate all the support.
Later.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Quick Request
I know that some of you are following this anonymously and that is OK if that is what you really want to do, but the real power in these is the sense of community and support so it would really mean alot to me if you would sign up as a follower just so I know you're out there. Thanks so much.
The Very Bad Hair Day
You get up in the morning, jump in the shower and wash your hair. Then you stand in front of the mirror trying to coax it to turn under but all it will do is flip up. That is not a bad hair day.
You get up in the morning, jump in the shower and wash your hair. Then you stand in front of the mirror trying to fix it and realize that overnight it has suddenly developed root growth beyond your comfort zone. No, even that is not a bad hair day.
You get up in the morning and are combing your hair just prior to leaving for your chemo treatment and a big clump comes out in your hand. You comb the other side and the same thing happens. THIS is a bad hair day. A very bad hair day. And, it hurts!
Later.
You get up in the morning, jump in the shower and wash your hair. Then you stand in front of the mirror trying to fix it and realize that overnight it has suddenly developed root growth beyond your comfort zone. No, even that is not a bad hair day.
You get up in the morning and are combing your hair just prior to leaving for your chemo treatment and a big clump comes out in your hand. You comb the other side and the same thing happens. THIS is a bad hair day. A very bad hair day. And, it hurts!
Later.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Tomorrow
I'm scheduled for chemo again tomorrow morning and that is weighing very heavily on my mind right now. I am really dreading it!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
I'm Back!
Back among the living. I got up this morning feeling better than I have in days and that is a really good thing. My sinus infection, though not gone, seems to be much improved and my energy levels seem to be going back up. The really good news is that I now have two whole days to feel good before the whole cycle starts over again.
Sue and Ron returned to Denver yesterday and Ken took down all the holiday decorations so the whole holiday experience suddenly feels surreal.
Speaking of Sue, I wanted to share a couple of things she did. Just a reminder, for those of you who don't know, Sue is my sister...one of three. First of all, she brought me a wig. Not just any wig, but the wig that my dad bought for my niece (Sue and Ron's daughter) when she was diagnosed with cancer. Should I decide to wear one at some point, I now have one that will be very meaningful. She also brought me a couple of medallions. A good friend of hers received these medallions when she was diagnosed with breast cancer the second time. They came from another friend who had also had breast cancer and received them from someone else. We're not sure how far back this chain goes, but the deal is when you become a breast cancer survivor you pass them on to someone else and keep the chain of survival going. So, they're now mine to carry with me until that day when I can pass them on.
Here's another cool thing...I am sitting here drinking coffee as I write this. Coffee (good freshly ground coffee) is one of my simple pleasures and after I had my first chemo treatment I was suddenly sickened by both the smell and taste of coffee. The last couple of days have seen that cruel background taste of gun metal and rusty nails dissipate to the point where I can again enjoy the taste of food and beverages. I realize this will be short lived, but for now, once again, life is good! Later.
Sue and Ron returned to Denver yesterday and Ken took down all the holiday decorations so the whole holiday experience suddenly feels surreal.
Speaking of Sue, I wanted to share a couple of things she did. Just a reminder, for those of you who don't know, Sue is my sister...one of three. First of all, she brought me a wig. Not just any wig, but the wig that my dad bought for my niece (Sue and Ron's daughter) when she was diagnosed with cancer. Should I decide to wear one at some point, I now have one that will be very meaningful. She also brought me a couple of medallions. A good friend of hers received these medallions when she was diagnosed with breast cancer the second time. They came from another friend who had also had breast cancer and received them from someone else. We're not sure how far back this chain goes, but the deal is when you become a breast cancer survivor you pass them on to someone else and keep the chain of survival going. So, they're now mine to carry with me until that day when I can pass them on.
Here's another cool thing...I am sitting here drinking coffee as I write this. Coffee (good freshly ground coffee) is one of my simple pleasures and after I had my first chemo treatment I was suddenly sickened by both the smell and taste of coffee. The last couple of days have seen that cruel background taste of gun metal and rusty nails dissipate to the point where I can again enjoy the taste of food and beverages. I realize this will be short lived, but for now, once again, life is good! Later.
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