Holidays - Second Time Around

Just like that - Thanksgiving is just a memory and we're quickly moving toward Christmas.

I can't believe that this is now my second holiday season colored by cancer. Thanksgiving week-end was great. Sue and Ron (my sister and brother-in-law from Colorado) were here and we just had a great time. But there were adjustments that I had to make in order to fully enjoy the time, and, in case someone just newly diagnosed, is reading this, I'm going to share some thoughts on the holidays.

Ken and I did host Thanksgiving dinner. It was something I really wanted to do. I always have this mindset that if I just act as though everything is normal, it will be. But try as I might, it isn't. So, yes, we hosted dinner, but it was a joint effort between 5 families. We all cooked, we all helped get it on the table, and we all cleaned up. In spite of that, I was still very tired by the end of the day, but very satisfied and happy. So, moving forward to my second Christmas, here are some of my survival thoughts.

1).  Lower your perception of the perfect holiday. Does it really have to include floors you can eat off of, fresh holiday decor in every room and plates piled high with every type of fancy baked good imaginable? Or is it just as festive and meaningful to put up one Christmas tree (or maybe two), a few candles and a plate with just a few cookies, selected from the "family holiday favorites" list? And, not only that...

2). Since even a scaled down version of the typical holiday preparations can take a lot out of you, take family and friends up on their inevitable invitations to help. Those who love to bake would be happy to share a few cookies with you. Kids and grandkids who love to decorate are bound to be happy to donate a few extra hours to help you out. And, no one will notice a few misplaced dust balls. It is a fact of life that chemo and other medications leave you extremely fatigued and out of energy. Use the energy you have to enjoy the time together rather than using it all up on the preparations.

3).  Shop online. Going to the mall is tough. It's cold. It's crowded. And, it takes considerably more energy than shopping online. This is not a cop out. This is survival. Be glad that it is now an option...a compromise to having someone else do your holiday shopping for you.

4).  By taking my own advice I plan to focus on what the holidays are really all about. It's not about those things that you do not, for the second year in a row, have the energy to do. It is about celebrating the fact that a year ago, newly diagnosed, there was the fear that it might be the last holiday season I would spend with those I love. Now, a year later, I'm still here and feeling so good about that. I'm confident, now, that I will get through this. Next year I will have more energy to do the things I may not be up to now. And, for that, I am so thankful. It's worth this LONG period of treatment, weakness, side effects and fatigue to eradicate this disease from my body. For now, I will just curl up on the couch and enjoy the company of family and friends. I will focus on the real meaning of the holidays. And I will thank God for bringing me through this.

Our kids and grandkids will all be here for Christmas this year and I can't wait. Ken and I will probably do some decorating this week. What a blessing that I have him to help. And with the decorations, holiday correspondence, etc. the excitement will start to build.

I hope you're all looking forward to the holidays as much as I am.

Later.