But, it really makes me pensive as well. In some ways, Christmas 2009 seems like a big blur. In other ways, it is amazingly etched in my mind. The thing I remember most is wondering if it would be my last Christmas on earth and wanting to make it unforgettable in case it was. Now...before you start telling me to stop thinking like that, I just have to say, why not think like that? Do any of us really know which Christmas may be our last? Of course not. It's just that when you are newly diagnosed with cancer, you are more likely to consider that possibility. My dad was diagnosed with cancer just before Christmas, 1994. He passed away in August of 1995. That had turned out to be his last Christmas. Did Elizabeth Edwards wonder last Christmas if she would see another? Her memorial service was held yesterday...just weeks before Christmas. 
So, I'm all about celebrating Christmas and all of life's other milestones as if it is my last. And, when it turns out that it wasn't my last...I'll celebrate that too. I am SO happy to be looking forward to Christmas with all of my kids here. Last Christmas I had to take anti-nausea meds every couple of hours just to keep from getting sick. Last Christmas I was unable to attend Christmas Eve services for the first time that I remember. As it turned out, there was a major blizzard and Christmas Eve services were cancelled. For whatever reason, it made it easier knowing that no one else was able to go either. But, in spite of everything, Kelli and Brett were here, Michelle and the grandkids, Ken and I and we had a great Christmas. We really did. But, this year we are looking forward to having Matt and Sara here as well. And, I'm not sick. And, the house now looks festive. And the shopping? Well, it will get done.
Christmas is coming and so is the family. Bring it on!
Later.
I'm with you ... I think everyone should celebrate each day as if it might be their last. And I don't just mean cancer patients. None of us know. Our family has had it's fair share of scares lately too and I'm determined to celebrate each day to the fullest.
ReplyDeleteDon't care about presents this year at all - Just family and friends. Heck ... don't shop - just sit around and look at old pictures of the kids in Christmas programs ( That's right ! I'm a sentimental Mom who loves to remember days gone by and dream about the days to come) Safe travels to all you kids too - The tree is up, the house looks beautiful and your Mom is waiting for you. Good Lord willing - we'll see you all on Christmas eve! - Jean
By the way - the house pictures look fantastic. If you've got the number for the "Christmas Cleaning Elf" that you employ let me know ... my house is a MESS !!! - Jean
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you are ready and planning to enjoy the time. It the fun with family and friends that really help make the holidays special. You are right you never know what tomorrow will bring so enjoy today and don't worry about tomorrow. All we have in this world in memories. It's pretyy scary when we cna't remember those. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Barb
ReplyDeleteBet you're getting excited. I know I would be. Not long now -
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