This can mean alot of things...
Could be routine bloodwork in the morning.
Could mean you're having surgery.
Or it could mean you're having a procedure to determine if your cancer has spread. That's the case for me.
The house is very quiet. Ken is at practice tonight so I don't even have the TV on. I'm just trying to read or surf the Internet or whatever I can do to take my mind off of tomorrow. I'm getting more and more apprehensive. Not sure why. I really thought when Dr. D. told me he wanted to do this that it was really nothing. But now I keep thinking about how concerned he appeared to be so I'm starting to have doubts.
I remember several months ago when I went through this with my thyroid. Lots of people commented on this blog that it would be nothing. There was no way it could happen twice, etc. This time the blog is eerily quiet. Like everyone realizes that wanting something to be so doesn't make it so.
When I say I'm feeling apprehensive, I don't mean I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself. It doesn't mean I'm thinking I don't deserve this. Nobody deserves stuff like this. I'm no different than anyone else. Except tonight it is me sitting here wondering what tomorrow will bring.
I have to check into Mercy at 9AM. Not sure if I will be able to sleep tonight or not but it doesn't really matter. Once I get there they will give me something that will pretty much make me sleep the rest of the day. And the good news is, we don't have to wait around for results. Whatever the verdict, we"ll know tomorrow.
Later.
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Thinking of you. Eagerly awaiting your next update. Hope you're able to find some peace tonight.
ReplyDeleteSending all our love -
Matt & Sara
FYI - I'm thinking of you, and I believe it's nothing (but I'm glad they're making sure). Wishing you some sleep tonight and a day that goes as smoothly as possible tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Kelli
Hi Just a little bump in the road. Do not worry till they tell you to. Keep your eyes and your mind on the end results. You are a survivor.With Cancer there is a lot of ups and down. It is a roller coster ride. I know you feel alone at times but we are alway thinking of your and the good lord is at your side. Keep the faith and all will work out the way it is suppose to. Good luck tomorrow. Barb
ReplyDeleteWish I had known this on Sunday. Now all that "small talk" sounds so insignificant. Hope you can find a way to tap into that inner peace again and hold on. Barb's right - just a bump in the road. Just wanted to say once again that you,Ken and the kids are always in our thoughts and prayers. This is a hard journey for all of you, but there are many, many people willing to lift you up with our prayers when you need the boost. Hope you can feel that somehow. We'll keep watching for the next update and hoping all goes well. - Rick & Jean
ReplyDelete