Where do I begin?
First of all, I spent three hours at the Cancer Center today, just for labs and an exam. It is so tiring! First thing I found out is that somehow the instructions printed on my meds were misinterpreted and not what the doctor intended. I have been taking them for the past three days when I shouldn't have been. They are just to be taken the night before and the morning of. In fact, I just got off the phone with the head nurse who called just to confirm that everything was straightened out. That can't be a particularly good sign.
The MUGA scan. I guess this scan showed that my cardiac function is approximately 10% lower than before I started chemo. This also isn't probably a particularly good sign. I am still in a high enough category to continue, though, so upward and onward. They will recheck again in three months.
So, tomorrow is the day...the first in my next series of treatments and the one that can potentially cause major allergic reactions. I must admit that I am extremely apprehensive about it. I did ask Dr. D. to explain to me one more time just what we are targeting with all of this since two surgeries have apparently removed all signs of cancer. It is the microscopic cells that get left behind. Not tumors...just random cells. Since my type of cancer is so aggressive and so likely to recur, they have no choice but to do this to hopefully kill off any remaining small cells that would be likely to cause problems down the road. He called it a major mopping up. There is no way to test and see if this is happening. I will just have to be monitored for the rest of my life for signs and symptoms and if there is no recurrence...it worked. Not exactly what I wanted to hear either. I would prefer some sort of blood test that said hooray...it worked.
All of this has just kind of been an overload today but rather than let it take over, I came up with the only way I know to make it through what is ahead. I went back and searched my blog archives to find a quote that Pastor John gave me awhile back. "God doesn't give us what we can handle, God helps us handle what we are given." I plan to hold on to that tomorrow and going forward.
Later.
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Rick is off tomorrow so we'll spend some concentrated time in prayer for you guys as you face this newest path. Pastor John will be so happy to hear that he's been able to help you with his words of encouragement. Take care and hang on - it sounds like a rainy day tomorrow ... what better weather to start the "mopping up" phase of your journey. - Jean
ReplyDeleteCathy,
ReplyDeleteHang in there and take it one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, knowing each passing moment has been lived and another one is present, and the future is not yet. More importantly, you are not alone. The love of God is with you in this tunnel.
Pastor John
Hi, Do not give up your blog. I am always interested in what is happening and do not always write back. We have been busy at the office and with me doing 6 opens a week it does cut into my time. One more month and the contest will be at the end. You are looking great and that is what counts. Your color is good and you must keep eating even if you do not feel like it. You need to keep your strength up. Just make a malt or anything that sounds good and take a few bites. It's like a cake just keep nibbling and eventually it will be gone. Thinking of you often and want you to beat this thing. Keep up the good work and the sun is coming that will help with the attitude. When the sun shines all is well. See you soon and keep writing. We need to know how you feel. Barb
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