It's Not About the...

According to Lance Armstrong, It's Not About the Bike. From my perspective right now, It's Not About the Body.

Every Monday after you receive your radiation treatment, you have to meet with the dietician, who records your weight, and then the radiation oncologist. In the past, I have always dropped one or two pounds per week. Not trying to...it just happens. The dietician always mentions it and asks about my appetite, etc. That's about all there is to it. I knew it might be more of an issue this week because, for whatever reason, I had dropped more weight than usual. In fact, I was almost glad when I got up this morning to see that I was retaining a little fluid, as sometimes happens, and therefore was up 3 pounds from what I had been over the weekend. Still, when I got on her scale I was down 5 for the week. I didn't tell her that really should have been 8. So she asked about my appetite as usual and then asked if I normally snack. I said no...it's all I can do to eat three meals. I do eat most every meal, hungry or not, but don't typically feel like it. She told me I need to start snacking to get some extra calories in me. Really? It seems to me that if you have no appetite and have to force yourself to even eat small amounts, that snacking between meals would just limit even more what you are able to eat at mealtime. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. I guess I'm just burned out with the constant monitoring of my weight. Kind of like when someone congratulates me for losing so much. Really? Is it an accomplishment to drop weight when you are fighting a life threatening illness? It's not like I am fresh off a stay at The Biggest Loser Ranch and have come home a winner. It's not like I did anything. It's just the way it is.

Not a good thingl, and not bad either. It just is what it is. Isn't it?

Later.